Eden, chapter 18: Three


CONTENT WARNING: Detailed suicidal ideation

He’s always, always in my mind — not as a pleasure, any more than I am always a pleasure to myself — but as my own being.’ – Emily Bronte, Wuthering Heights

Sigyn: cover6


Sigyn: Not to be That Fan, but her middle name is actually Jean. Rowling was initially going to have it as Jane, but changed it after giving Umbridge “Jane” as a middle name.

Displays features of –
A. Severe Depression
B. Anxiety Disorder
C. Obsessive Behaviour

D. Self-harm

E. A Goat.


Cin: Not that Hermione shouldn’t be committed at this point, but… lolwut?

Sigyn: Why would she be under building restriction? She’s not a flight risk!

Piffy: Maybe she gets double-kidnapped by St. Mungo’s!

Sigyn: I have the perfect mood music for that!

Piffy: It’s Mungomort and the Brain-Eaters!

Sigyn: What a great name for an album. I’ll pitch to Wholesome!Lucius when he’s old enough to music. (He was born July 1st, by the way.)

Continue reading “Eden, chapter 18: Three”

Eden, chapter 17: Unimaginable

‘How blessed are some people, whose lives have no fears, no dreads, to whom sleep is a blessing that comes nightly, and brings nothing but sweet dreams.’ – Bram Stoker, Dracula

Sigyn: How blessed are some people who know how to quote something other than Dracula, Shakespeare, Tolkein, and the dictionary. Also, why aren’t you quoting The Picture of Dorian Gray or something like that? It would be far more apropos.

Piffy: At least it’s not that poem.

Continue reading “Eden, chapter 17: Unimaginable”

Eden, chapter 16: Consequences


What do you mean?’ said Frodo. ‘Surely the Ring was his precious and the only thing he cared for? But if he hated it, why didn’t he get rid of it or go away and leave it?’

You ought to begin to understand, Frodo, after all you have heard,’ said Gandalf. ‘He hated it and loved it, as he hated and loved himself. He could not get rid of it. He had no will left in the matter.” – J . R . R . Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring

Sigyn: Why are you bringing LOTR into this? I understand that series is quite well-written.

Piffy: Because it’s not bad fantasy until it takes something that worked for Tolkien and forgets to weave the loose ends back in.

Continue reading “Eden, chapter 16: Consequences”

Eden, chapter 15: Grief

Sigyn: as in, “good GRIEF, there’s 35 more chapters of this.”

Methought I heard a voice cry ‘Sleep no more! Macbeth does murder sleep… Glamis hath murder’d sleep, and therefore Cawdor shall sleep no more; Macbeth shall sleep no more.’ – William Shakespeare, Macbeth

Piffy: I actually like “murdered sleep” as an expression for causing insomnia. We should bring that back.

Continue reading “Eden, chapter 15: Grief”

Eden, chapter 14: Negotiation

ESTRAGON: It’d be better if we parted.
VLADIMIR: You always say that, and you always come crawling back.
ESTRAGON: The best thing would be to kill me, like the other.
VLADIMIR: What other? 
(Pause) What other?
ESTRAGON: Like billions of others.’ – 
Samuel Beckett, Waiting for Godot

*Edward Cullen intensifies*

The rules of the game are as follows – the players will take turns to make their moves. Do not reveal your hand to your opponent. If you choose to raise the stakes, do not bet more than you can afford to pay.

Sigyn: Poker? Really? You’re quoting the rules from poker? Also,


Piffy: Because Akumione constantly has her hand on the table, face-up.

Continue reading “Eden, chapter 14: Negotiation”

Eden, chapter 13: Grey Area

Cin: … but how many shades of it?

Everyone else: *groans*

Eugenie: Pun Shame Corner. Now.

I could rest if you would not moan
Hour after hour; I have no power
To shut my ears where I lie alone.

I could rest if you would not cry;
But there’s no sleeping while you sit weeping-
Watching, weeping so bitterly.’
 – Christina Rossetti, The Ghost’s Petition

Sigyn: Try some earplugs.

Piffy: So someone’s Edwarding and sobbing at the same time? That sounds extremely annoying and awkward. Can you just stop standing next to my bed crying? I’m trying to sleep.

Continue reading “Eden, chapter 13: Grey Area”

Eden, chapter 12: Betrayal

Welcome back to the CoronaCon 2020 Eden Spork Marathon! 😀 Are you not entertained?

For the eyeing my scars, there is a charge
For the hearing of my heart-
It really goes.

And there is a charge, a very large charge
For a word or a touch
Or a bit of blood

Or a piece of my hair on my clothes.’ – Sylvia Plath, Lady Lazarus

Sigyn: Hey Averna, did you ever think about charging people for eyeing your scars? It would be lucrative!

Averna: I should have thought of that.

Continue reading “Eden, chapter 12: Betrayal”

Eden, chapter 11: Breakthrough


If I be sane, then surely it is maddening to think that of all the foul things that lurk in this hateful place the Count is the least dreadful to me; that to him alone I can look for safety, even though this be only whilst I can serve his purpose.’ – Bram Stoker, Dracula

Cin: Oh, shut the fuck up, Harker. I always hated you.

Sigyn: Skrrrt. Harker did not want to bang Dracula. That just wasn’t a thing. No offense to Harker/Dracula shippers… actually, yes, full offense. Full offense and kinkshame.

On a lighter note, please have some Mood Music for the first few minutes of reading this chapter!

Continue reading “Eden, chapter 11: Breakthrough”

Eden, chapter 10: Power

Evryn: Because I must, is “power” code for “cock”?

Sigyn: yeah probably i’m so sick of this shit i don’t even care right now. Actually,

TRIGGER WARNING: DATE RAPE. While it doesn’t actually occur in this chapter, there are situations that are mighty reminiscent of it, and I would prefer to err on the side of caution here.

Stars, hide your fires, let not light see my black and deep desires.’ – William Shakespeare, Macbeth

Sigyn: I would have preferred the Oscar Wilde/Dorian Gray quote.

Eden, chapter 9: Intermission

Sigyn: Content Warning for in-law incest. I was aware of what was going on earlier because obsessmuch is not subtle, but it’s actually pointed out in this chapter. For those of you who would rather not read that, I’ve marked the beginning and end of that scene in big giant red letters.

How beautiful you are! You are more beautiful in anger than in repose. I don’t ask you for your love; give me yourself and your hatred; give me yourself and that pretty rage; give me yourself and that enchanting scorn; it will be enough for me.’ – Charles Dickens, The Mystery of Edwin Drood

Sigyn: cover6

Ladies and Gentlemen, we are currently experiencing technical difficulties. We apologise for any inconvenience, and hope to resume normal service as soon as possible.

Sigyn: *bitterly* Your existence is a technical difficulty, you badfic. Actually, there is something I need to express in regards to my reaction to this fic. Here’s a whole lot of personal storytime that you can just fucking deal with because I have a point to make and I can’t do it succinctly. I’ll un-bold most of the text and increase the indent until I’m done.

I’ve alluded to this, but I ship Hermione and Lucius because they superficially remind me of myself and someone I love:

Drepanon x Sigyn, close

(a drawing, because I don’t want to violate his privacy by putting a real photo of him on a public blog.)

Continue reading “Eden, chapter 9: Intermission”

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